Saturday, March 7, 2009

Crutch Lady

I was at Devon Market yesterday buying some groceries for neighbors who were coming to dinner. I had everything planned, just had to pick up the supplies. I rounded a corner in the busy store, and hear a metallic "clicking" sound, and look up to see a lady on crutches TRUCKING towards me. I'm talking faster than the Amtrack here, and I instantly feared for my life. So I turned around and headed to the produce section. I was minding my business, and all of a sudden a hand reached next to me to get cucumbers. When I turned around it was the CRUTCH LADY! No explanation is feasible as to how she snuck up behind me without the "click, click, click, click" of crutches...NONE whatsoever. I smiled nervously at her ratty hair and then made my way to another section, this time the dairy section. Behind me, in the next aisle, I could hear the "click click click" of metal crutches on the tile floor, moving at an exceptional speed. This lady must have been champion in getting around on one foot. I sped to the other end of the aisle where she met me and asked, with a thick tongue, "How'd you beat me?" I wanted to pipe up "LADY, you and your crutches scare the SHIT out of me, and stay away!" But one more look at that ratty hair made me think better of getting all tangled in that situation, so I proceeded to the checkout to get the heck out of that store.

Moral of the story? BEWARE, for the lame are none to tangle with.


Anonymous said...

I am laughing as I write a little blurb.
This sounds like you need to develop it into a short story.
You mean the lady had a thick tongue in addition to the seemingly needed crutches? Was she putting any weight on the affected limb? She probably had thick armpits too if she was swinging the leg to and fro as she ambulated...
Oh man, can we go somewhere with this!

Red from Ktown said...

Ooooooh. Pavlovs click click.