Friday, November 27, 2009

Being gay in the city, being gay in the suburbs

Apparently, as I found out this Thanksgiving, it's highly inappropriate to be a gay man from the glamorous, wild, flamboyant lifestyle of the city lost in the woods of suburban life. Apparently, it's not ok to draw attention to yourself, and look fabulous in your gigantic sunglasses and adorable hat from H&M, or your 3/4 length coat from Banana Republic, or your earrings. These are all highly inappropriate and disrespectful to the suburban Abercrombie & Fitch crowd who have only seen gay life as it's depicted on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." Apparently all gay men are flamboyant and living this lifestyle, not as a chameleon, as suggested, but rather as an outgoing person comfortable with himself, and with his self image when at home in the city, but not at all comfortable when he steps off the Metra train into the outer world of the 'burbs.

I was hurt and dismayed, that this lifestyle that I have been so comfortable with, and accepting of for over 10 years, is so frowned upon. It's not like I chose this lifestyle over "straight" life. It was kind of given to me.

I don't "talk like" a queen, or with an affect to my tone of voice. I like to think that I dress myself very well, and I spend way too much time primping my face and doing my hair in the morning. Sure, when I've had a few too many cocktails, my hands do the talking for me. Sure I tend to draw attention to myself in large settings. But so do most people who are accustomed to city life and being around tons of people every day. Apparently it's not the case with the suburbans. So I apparently have to change my image and be the "chameleon" when I'm around my suburban family. I suppose I can deal with it to make them happy. But as soon as I get back on that train back to the city, on goes the Banana Republic coat, and the gigantic Jackie O. sunglasses, and to top it all off, my fantastically "gay" H&M hat.

I am who I am!

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