The Perils of a Name like Abe

Last night was the third night this week that I recieved a phone call around 3am, when all I could hear was feet walking through snow on the other end. Apparently, I'm not as popular as I think, but, rather, I have the brilliant luck of being first on everyone's phone contacts. A.B.E. The only person who might be before me is A.A.R.O.N. I only know one of those, and he doesn't use that name. It seems to me cell phones should be getting better these days. What, with flip phones, it seems much harder to make an accidental phone call while the phone is tumbling around in your pocket or purse. However, with the advent of Blackberrys and I-Phones, there are so many buttons that something is bound to get pushed accidentally while you trudge home from the bar. I severely dislike being awoken from a sound sleep in the middle of the night. Especially on a weeknight when I'm up at 6:30 the next morning, and ESPECIALLY when I realize that there's no one on the other end who wants to talk to me. I also assume every call I get in the wee morning hours will be bad news, so I tend to be very nervous when I do answer.

I like to let people know that they've disturbed my sleep, as well. Usually my response text message goes something like this, "Your phone just dialed me, you bastard," or "Hey streetwalker, keep your phone in check." Normally if it was Friday or Saturday and I was out, of course I wouldn't mind so much. In fact, I probably wouldn't even hear it ring if I happened to be somewhere with loud music and crazy drunks running all over the place. But last night, and the other two times this week, I was warm in my bed, fast asleep.

Now this gets me thinking of my name in general. A.B.E. Or A.B.R.A.H.A.M. When I was little, I didn't quite like my name so much as I do today. Why couldn't I be named Justin, or Kyle, or Adam? Those were the COOL names. Not anymore. Today I absolutely love my name. It generates so much discussion, and I LOVE when something about me generates discussion. I will talk to you for an entire day if that happens. People ask me where I'm from, where my parents are from, what my ethnicity is, and am I Jewish? Hindu? Muslim? Once they see the last name, it usually clears everything up. It's a good, old fashioned, die-hard Irish last name. Sometimes, though, this just raises more questions.

The final point I want to make about my name, is that it is very often confused with other, rhyming, names when people hear it for the first time (especially on the phone at work). Dave? Gabe? No. It's ABE. Like ABRAHAM. That's what I have to say nearly every day. People never forget my name. If you are looking to have kids, name them something unique! They will probably thank you for it one day, although maybe not right away. That is, unless your big dreams for your child involve becoming a criminal. In that case you may want to stick with a less memorable name like Justin, Brad, Mike. Or Katie, Amy, Laura.