I've decided to get counseling. Yes folks, I may be a bit crazy at times so this is probably a good thing. My friend, Sarah, talked me into it, as she says that counseling really helps her. She's definitely not crazy either! I've decided to receive it from Howard Brown Health Center, which is a fantastic center especially for gay and lesbian people and for people living with HIV and AIDS. I think it's a fantastic place. There is a sliding scale for payment, and, since I'm unemployed, that's definitely a good thing.
The reason I'm going through all this is because my parents are having a really hard time with my being gay. I mean really hard. It would be hard for anyone, don't get me wrong, but they had to know before I even told them. I mean, come on, I never played any sports in high school or college, I had a ton of girlfriends, I had many gay friends, I like disco music. It's totally obvious! I'm sure they didn't want me to be a homo. But it is what it is. The hardest part was when my father told me not to dress like a fag at a job interview I had. Come ON. Are you serious? It's not ok to use that word around me. At all. Use it around mom, use it around your friends, but not not not around me. It's utterly offensive.
My father also asked me once how I can like men. My answer was that it's a nature thing, there wasn't anything that they did to "turn" me gay. Another reason I like men is that they are much better lovers. They are a man so they know what a man wants in bed! Simple as that.
I've known I was gay since my first semester in college when I first "messed around" with another guy in my dorm. I thought I was only bisexual for a few months, but soon realized that I was definitely into men. Women were friends, men were lovers. At least that was my thought. It's probably my own fault that I didn't tell my parents and sisters until a few years after college, as it just makes it harder. They will be fine. I will seek counseling. My sisters have been just great with it. My mom said if I ever brought a boyfriend home she would be a little wary, but she will get used to it.
So now I'm ready to settle down. Really. I'm passed my slutty hook-up-at-the-bar years (yes I definitely had some of those!). As my friend, Jen, from Seattle used to say, I am an island. I could never keep a boyfriend, I'd play games and not call people back, and just disappear. That's why I don't date younger guys! All done. Too immature for me! I have my life figured out, I have a mortgage to pay, I (need) a job. I would really like a man to be part of my life throughout all this: to laugh at me, to make fun of me, to love me, and to make good love to me. I will say that I met a fabulous chocolate brown man at a bar last week, and he is everything I have ever wanted. He's adorable, beautiful, and just all together great. I told him that too. I really want to be with him, and we will see how things go. His name is Quintin Leonard. Sexy name, right?
So I guess I'm not crazy after all. Maybe just a little nutty.
A former New Yorker-turned Tennesseean-turned Chicagoan who sometimes keeps himself so busy, he barely has a moment to sit down. Of course I sit for long enough to keep this blog. I'm a self-proclaimed news and fact junkie, and I love writing about funny, touching, amazing, annoying, crazy, or just plain boring things that I encounter in this crazy city we know as Chicago.